Oh The Places You'll Go (and things you'll hear)

You may not know this but every tour is different. Yes, we show the same things and places and tell the same stories. But it's the groups, weather and other circumstances that make each tour a different experience. In order to illustrate that point, I enlisted the help of my fellow tour guides and asked them about their craziest moment as a Tour Guide. Maybe after reading them, you'll understand why being a Tour Guide is more than simply walking and talking backwards.


COREY: "I was giving a tour to a group of students over the summer and it was a fairly large group so I had to make sure i was projecting for the stragglers in the back to hear me. Throughout the tour a group of three girls (assumedly friends) had been in the front, asking questions, chatting, and walking very close to me. About half way through the tour we were outside and I was yelling and a little spit flew out of my mouth. I looked at the girls and said, "sorry I am talking so loud and I'm really sorry if I accidentally spit." I expected them to back up at that point, but no. One of them instead responded by saying, "Oh, I don't mind if you spit on me." Talk about awkward, that was definitely the most interesting thing ever told to me on a tour."


LOGAN: "One day during a tour my group was terrified I was going to fall over something because I was walking backwards. They decided to point out everything I could possibly fall over so that I wouldn't fall. We began our trek up Morton hill. When we got to the top, they pointed out the poles blocking traffic from going down the hill. We rounded the corner and I ran into the bench sitting outside of the Oasis Cafe. I landed flat on my back staring up at the tour group."



AMANDA: "I had to give one of those special tours to a group of high school students. Everything was going fine. It was your typical high school tour. Girls were bored and guys were messing around in the back of the group. No one was listening and no one cared but I still gave my tour as if I were presenting to the Queen of England. Nothin but the best. Well, apparently it wasn't enough for these heathens. As we were approaching Ping (and the end of my nerves) something fell from the sky. It was not a speck of blue, or a sprinkle of cloud... No, it was more like a big fat loogie hawked up from the back of the crowd. The little fluid friend found it way to a glorious spot on the tip of my shoe. The words that came out of my mouth a that moment were highly inappropriate- but so was the mound of mucous snuggling up to my ASICS. I swung myself around and shot them the evil eye. Immediately the girls in the front lifted their frail fingers and pointed to the boys in the back, who just then realized the weight of their mistake. I would love to say that I flew back there and took a belt to their behind, or gave them such a piece of my mind that I left them speechless and utterly baffled by my audacity. Regretedly, I did not. Instead, I slowly turned around, wiped the tear from my eye, and continued my tour with such a level of paranoia that I mastered the stairs backward for the sake of never turning my back on them again"


AARON: I was giving a tour in early to mid-March, and it was the type of weather where most people would be a little too cool wearing a t-shirt, but maybe a little too warm wearing more than a long-sleeve shirt. One of the younger sister's (around 9th grade age) of a potential student was wearing a full, heavy winter jacket. I had a visitor group of about 5 families/15 people. My tour was nearing it's end, it was about 10 minutes until 2pm, and we were going to walk into the 2nd floor of the library and then end the tour in Baker. We walk into the 2nd floor entrance, the entrance "hallway" if you will, and because it was a busy day, we stood in the hallway for a minute while I talked about the library. During this week, the heat seemed to be on extremely high in the library, and the vents were streaming hot air around us. Not long into my library description, the girl wearing the winter jacket flops (with a loud thud) onto the metal newspaper canister/holder and drops to the floor. Her parents quickly kneel down to her, and I kneel down (even though I knew I couldn't help in any way). I called 911 and they said they quickly be on their way. Meanwhile, I've got 4 other families standing there traumatized, and not knowing what to do. Luckily I was being shadowed by a rookie that day, and told him to stay with the family of the fainted girl, while I walk the other 4 families around the 2nd floor of Alden, and then drop them off at Baker. The tour ended smoothly (as much as possible), and afterward I walked back to Alden where the ambulance had arrived and the girl was up and moving, sipping on a juice-box. Long story short, the girl hadn't eaten since the day before, didn't drink much liquid that day, and overheated as she was wearing a winter jacket on a day I was wearing a t-shirt. The first, and hopefully last time I have had a girl pass out while on one of my campus tours.

ELLEN: "I gave a tour once with an alum who hadn't been here in a ridiculous amount of years. As I gave the tour he pointed out to my group everything that had changed and what he used to do as a student. When we passed Chubb Hall he told everyone how it had been the former library and then proceeded to tell them all where he and his girlfriend used to go to make out in the general stacks. It was quite the tour."

NATALIE: "I was giving a decent sized tour, during a weekday. I had just given them the library spiel and was now walking them around the 2nd floor of Alden. As I passed through the little hallway between the elevator and stairway doors, my friend saw me giving a tour and decided to tell my tour how awesome Ohio University is, which is fine I don't mind when students give positive remarks about Ohio U during a tour. Anyway, I rounded the corner, but my tour was still in full view of my friend who was about to get on an elevator. She finished telling the group how smart the students who attend this university are then tried to enter the elevator with the doors still closed. I never actually witnessed this and my group said nothing, but I continue to tell all of my tour groups about my brilliant friend who ran into the elevator door after telling a large group of prospective students how smart we college kids are."

And who said being a tour guide was easy? Next post, I'll be going over THE BIG VISIT. For now though, be careful where you walk.